In 2006, I was a high school cheerleader, a virgin, an a straight A student. To make a long story short I fell in love with an older guy my neighbor hooked me up with. He was my first love, my first EVERYTHING. Eventually my parents found out and sent him to jail. He was facing prison time but my mom dropped the charges. After that she began letting me date him at 16. He was 20 years old at this time. My mom had talked to be about his mother and how she never liked her  while in high school. This made Rico and I's relationship very difficult. I became pregnant at 16 and had my first child at 17. I got through my senior year with the help of my mom and Rico's mother and grandmother babysitting daily. Rico got a gun charge when my baby was 1 month old and instead of doing time in jail he decided to go to the military. I went to his graduation. When I arrived his mother and family treated me awful as usual.

        When we arrived to our hometown. Rico and I got married in October 2010. His mom was furious and would not talk to him for months. I left with him to his station in Fort Campbell, KY we got a little apartment and began our lives together. Everyday I would pick him up, and drop him off at the military base. I think of this as the best time of my life in the relationship. Shortly after that we began having issues. We had a joint account together and his mother and grandmother would call and tell him how big of a fool he was for having an account with me, although I never spent his money. I was very frustrated how his mom, who has never been married, was running our marriage. We found out he would have to deploy soon after. I invited his family down his last night home and I ordered pizza and wanted to have a goodnight. I drove him to the base and kissed him goodbye. Later on I found out Rico's mom had talked him into making her the power of attorney over all his assests. Me and my son were left with nothing. I also was almost forced out of my apartment because his mother was using the POA to get me  kicked out. I was devastated, When I talked to him he told me how sorry he was and how his mom had manipulated him. Later on I found out they had established an account together. Whenever me and my son needed money I had to ask her, and she would write me a check out of there account. I felt NOTHING like a wife. I packed my things and moved back to Dyersburg with my mother. I began nursing school . a one year program, and by the time I completed it Rico  had been kicked out of the military. We decided to move back to KY. I began working as a nurse, and he had no job. Although it hurt me deeply how he treated me while he was in the military I took care of him and our son. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I constantly asked Rico to get a job and he says this was nagging. Between him being jobless and not looking, his friends calling, and his mom calling nagging I felt our marriage was sinking. He left me while I was at work one day when I was 4 months pregnant. I was devastated! I moved us to a 3 bedroom townhouse brand new with a garage. While he was gone I bought all baby supplies, paid all bills, and paid childcare for my son to go to school. All on my own. I didn't want to put him on child support because I was afraid he would not come back home. He eventually came back when I was 9 months pregnant and was there for the delivery. Soon after he found a job, I thought we were heading for success, then he lost the job. Also, he is a chronic marijuana user. Well eventually the bills were piling, and money was short we began having problems again and now this time with 2 children, he left me once again in January 2013. I spent the whole year working and praying he would return but this time he called around February and informed me that his mom had signed him up for hair school in Jackson, TN 40 miles from Dyersburg. I was devastated because I immediately felt he would never come home, and also would sleep around with women in the school. I eventually moved home in June with my mom. I was broken. Me and Rico began seeing each other again but I noticed he was different in his personality, the clothes he wore, the way he talked, he even shaved his balls. I knew there had to be another woman but he denied. He would go back and fourth one day wanting to be together and one day saying lets divorce out the blue. I began working at a hospital in Jackson down the street from his hair school. Sometimes I would stop over there to see him he would rush outside and tell me never to come there. I suspected there was a woman he was seeing there.

      After he told me he wanted to get  back together for sure I found a rental house for us in Dyersburg in January 2014. I paid all deposits and we painted together everyday. We started to go out on dates and I felt our relationship was growing. I was so excited to move in. We spent the night at my parents house together on the night before Martin Luther King Day. I was so happy. The next day I received a call at 5 a.m. from an unrecognized number. I called the number back a woman answered. She informed me my husband was over her house holding their newborn 2 week old child. I dropped the phone in panic and despair. How could he? This was the worst moment I ever experienced in my whole 21 years. I asked her her name, she told me, she even said I could ask him if I wanted  he was right there. My heart was pounding. She also said she seen me come to the hair school, and she was pregnant at the time. I was devastated. I called my husband but he would not answer the phone. When I finally talked to him he admitted it was true and that he had signed the birth certificate and was sure it was his. I was devastated this day. I did not eat for 2 weeks. I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I felt my world was crashing. He promised me that he wanted to be with me and was sorry but the hurt was too much. When I looked the girl up on FB and seen a newborn daughter with his last name, and all the likes and comments stating how she looked like her daddy my world stopped.  I stopped talking to him and communicating with him for awhile all up until 2 weeks ago. He has been begging and pleading with me to see me and says he made a horrible mistake. I now live in Jackson with my best friend. I love him, but my heart hurts so bad. When we are together I feel complete. I have tried dating others but there's nobody my heart lights up for like him. I loved him so much. I cant imagine living my life with 2 kids on my own and having to find a stepfather. I wake up every morning bitter of having to get my kids together and dropped off on my own. I miss so much when we were a family. He wants to be together but I also cry everyday when I think about the union he has with this woman and an outside child. His mom never liked me, but now his mom communicates with her. I never felt like a wife. I have been spit on the whole marriage. I feel either way I am in a lose/lose situation. Either be with him and wear the "My husband cheated label" or live without him and struggle as a single mother with a hole in my heart. I look at situations but I am by far I feel the worst. Everyday I contemplate suicide. Not to mention my self-esteem is in the pits. I have stretch marks, no hips, and big breast (the apple shape) the lady he had this kid with is skinny and beautiful. I came across your article in hopes of getting some advice before I lose my mind. I feel like a lost child. I'm devastated, heartbroken, and at a pathetic state. Do you have any advice to offer me? If so thanks. -Megan